Parents do not own their daughters as property but do have a right to mentor and guide them as well as object if they realize that she is going on the wrong path.
I do agree that pre-marital sex and live-in relationships are by far a matter of one’s own choice and decision.
However, as much as we might talk about sex, very few of the Indian population actually is aware of how sexually transmitted diseases get transpired and the usage of condoms, birth control pills, etc. Mostly, we are all influenced and ready to follow the western culture and the current trends.
In other words, we all share the herd mentality but how many of us try to find out what precautions and remedies we must take/use in order to protect ourselves from infections and diseases.
When it comes to sex education, the word itself is a taboo and using it publicly would mean several people staring at you all at once. While there are counsellors/teachers to guide students through their sexual problems abroad, here even consulting a gynaecologist for a routine check-up for unmarried, young girls would be looked upon with much scepticism.
A report by All India Institute of Medical Sciences claims that 10-40% of all abortions are more likely to be seen among adolescents and women seeking sex-selective abortions. More than 11% of these abortions have been reported in Rajasthan and Uttar Pradesh, 60% in Orissa and 35% in Tamil Nadu as per the report. It also says that mostly abortions are performed by untrained individuals and that too in unhygienic conditions that contribute to 20 percent of all abortion-related deaths among adolescents.
By October 2012, around 1,80,000 abortions had taken place in Delhi in five years, according to reports by DNA News.
All youngsters whether girls or boys certainly have right on their bodies and authority to take their sexual decisions. Parents do not own their daughters as property but do have a right to mentor and guide them as well as object if they realize that she is going on the wrong path. Unlike yesteryear, today, parents are more like friends and believe in having a frank and friendly relation with their children, especially in the latter’s adolescent age. Well, mostly.
However, as much as we show that we are open on discussing sex and talk about our romantic relationships, it is we who have made sex a taboo by making it a hush-hush affair, whether it be because of societal concerns, fear of what parents and relatives might say or even our reputation among our friends. In India, we usually restrain from talking about our sexual choices and pre-marital sex issues with experienced people like our own parents. Yet, tomorrow, when our children would indulge in pre-marital sex, we would only try and be careful that they do not indulge in pre-marital sex and/or take impulsive decisions. We would only make sex a taboo for them by portraying sex as something to talk about only within closed doors.
Secondly, if every person in society who has attained the age for voting and selecting the right government would have been so able and knowledgeable about the country’s politics, the country after so many years of independence would not have been still in a developing state.
Shifting the focus to parents’ questioning children’s sexual choices, even in the movie, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, while Aishwarya’s mother (the character) asks her if she has slept with her love (Salman Khan) and forced her to get married to Ajay Devgan, at the end of the movie we see Aishwarya returning to Ajay Devgan. The movie shows that parents’ choices and decisions for their children, though it was shown to be forceful (something I would not agree to be right on part of the parents) is not always wrong. Whatever decisions parents take, the basic motive is the welfare of their children.
Also, when a girl after having unprotected sex becomes pregnant, who suffers more? Yes, it is the girl who suffers much more not only because of the societal pressures, but because of her own body issues which she is probably, at this stage of her life is unprepared to handle.
Even in the movie Jab We Met, Kareena Kapoor is shown to elope from home for the sake of her love but when she is in a devastated state, who is responsible and at the end who forgives her and accepts her back. The boy she fell in love with (named Anshuman in the movie) denies marrying her while it is her family that forgives her and accepts back in the family. Well, even Kareena Kapoor is shown to be confident that her family would surely forgive her. So, who should have more right on you, your family or the person you are in a relationship with, not even knowing whether the relationship is for a lifetime or will last just a couple of days!
When a girl has sexually intimate relationship with a boy, is it only concerned with the ‘sex’ part and not with one’s emotions, respect and dignity?
Again, if we go a little deeper, is it not our parents because of whom we grow both physically, mentally and culturally, we come to know about our etiquettes in society, our religion, culture, all of it or do we grow in every sense because of the person we love or have sexual relations with and whom we probably know since only a few weeks or months?
This video from the movie, Namastey London bears a testimony to the statement above:
Do we even remember when we used to get wounded, who cared for us? Our parents used to get emotionally wounded when they saw us bleeding. If the mother who nurtures and nourishes us in her womb does not have a right on us, who has?
Although it is not true that all decisions taken by young girls in choosing their life partner is wrong, however, sometimes their parents’ experiences and a better understanding of the world around can prove more helpful in choosing the right life partner.
