Being unpopular in school – For youngsters, personal choices are exceptionally dynamic – implying that, surprisingly, they build a self-character in that age.
So we encounter everything, great or terrible, with expanded levels of power. This has prompted to some extremely intriguing exploration on the impacts of being popular or being unpopular in school. So, when you are unpopular in you school, does it impact you in any way in future?
Yes, it does and you would agree with the same after listening to how this guy regrets not being popular in school.
He went on to Quora to describe how being unpopular in school affected him in future, here have a look:
“I wasn’t exactly unpopular in high school, but I was very socially awkward. I ran with the nerd crowd and had absolutely no traction with the ladies whatsoever. Towards senior year I found a few avenues to express myself — sports, music, theater — and made an effort to branch out socially. I’m glad I did, and regret not getting started sooner.”
The Regret
Being unpopular in school and not having a strong peer group in early adolescence made it hard to do the necessary developmental work of differentiating from my parents and figuring out who I was.
I wasn’t always getting good social cues from my nerdy peers, and I didn’t feel safe experimenting around them — they were just as anxious and desperate to please authority figures as I was. As a result, when I went to college and started feeling safe enough to do the adolescent rebellion thing, I carried it way overboard. Instead of being too timid to try drinking or weed, I colossally binged. Instead of being too dorky to make a move on a girl, I threw myself at them thoughtlessly and immaturely (when I could make a move at all.)
Some of my adolescent rebellion carried over long past the point of it being age appropriate, and to this day I’m still sorting out my authority issues. It’s all worked itself out in the end; I’m happily married (to my great surprise) and am going after my dreams with a (mostly) confident sense of self. But it was a difficult climb to get here. I had to build my emotional and social intelligence more or less from scratch in adulthood.
The effect
I know the popular kids had their share of drama and misery, but at least they could look to their clique for support and a sense of identity. Some of the tightest cliques from my high school are alive and well twenty years later. I’m friendly on an individual level with just about everyone from my class at this point, but it’s mostly on the Facebook level. I appear to be constitutionally incapable of belonging to tribes and clubs (except on the internet.)
The lone-wolf thing is great for maintaining a skeptical and iconoclastic mindset. It’s fueled my artistic and intellectual ambitions, and is the basis for my entrepeneurial spirit. I love being alone, which is wonderfully conducive to creative work and introspective writing. But relationships outside my family and close friends can be a challenge, and I would wish to have had an earlier start learning those kinds of emotional skills.”
Yes, being unpopular in school can be a little negative for your future, but there is always scope for a change in personality. If you weren’t popular then, you can be now.
