If We Want To Prevent Rapes We Must Start Talking To Our Boys

To prevent rapes – “She was raped because she was wearing a mini-skirt”,

“she must have provoked the man”,

“it was because she had a boyfriend” – one hears several such statements being uttered by people around us when a girl or a woman is raped. This seems strange as the woman is the victim and not the perpetrator. So, why is she and not the one who raped or molested her being questioned and brought to task? If you say that a girl was molested because she was wearing a pair of shorts, what would you say when a woman wearing a burqa is raped?

One of the biggest reasons behind crimes related to women happen in our country because we never question the mentality of the men who commit these crimes. Instead, we pin the blame on the women.  This is also one of the reasons why a lot of these crimes go unreported. Most of the women do not report about these crimes because of shame and the fear that the society would alienate them. To prevent this, we must look deep within our souls and understand where are going wrong as a society.

When a woman is raped, molested or sexually assaulted by a man, the only person we must be angry with is the perpetrator, that is, the man. India is a largely patriarchal society where a man is considered to be the head of the family and whatever he says must be obeyed by all. Boys are brought up with a certain level of privilege and pampering that girls usually do not get.

This gives boys a reason to believe that they are superior to the fairer sex and can treat them any way they like to. These boys grow into men who think they have a certain right over women and can do whatever they wish to. They think it is alright to keep their mothers, sisters, wives and girlfriends under their thumb and exercise control over their lives. The problem lies in their upbringing. Their parents give them the impression that they are superior to women as they differentiate between the male child and the female child. They grow up and interact with friends who have been brought up in a similar environment and thus, have a similar mind-set rooted in misogyny and chauvinism.

The first step To prevent rapes, eradicating this problem is to teach your child right from a very early age that boys and girls or men and women are equal. You must not say this to them verbally but also show them practically that you mean what you preach. You must set enough examples in front of them and bring them up in an environment that facilitates a healthy interaction between the two sexes so that they realise themselves there is no distinction between the two.

To prevent rapes – By putting this thought in their minds from a very young age, you will make sure that as they grow up and evolve, they treat everybody equally and do not have a misguided sense of machismo in their heads.