Sorry, we don’t understand your fashion!

They may be big names in the industry and their creations sought after by the who’s who of B-Town, but when it comes to you and me, their designs look like a patchwork made by LKG students who have just realized what crayons are. All these elaborate designs and intricate ‘kaarigari’ is a ‘sheer’ waste of time for fashion-zeros like me, isn’t it?

With so many fashion shows blossoming by the hour, it’s but natural for us to lose track of sartorial excellence. The ongoing Lakme Fashion Week (LFW) has upped the craziness level, what with big shot designers flaunting their ‘not-able-to-fathom-what-the-hell-is-happening’ collection on the ramp. With every season bringing in a new series of designers and experts, it’s becoming extremely difficult for us to keep a tab on what’s cool and what’s plain pathetic.

For people like me who can’t differentiate between net, lace and sheer, the various categories and sub-categories involved in fashion is such a huge wastage of time. Why complicate things when purple can be called purple and light purple and not mauve? What’s ochre and fuschia really are? I mean who in her right minds would instruct someone to pick up a tangerine colour top with fuschia detailing? Are we prepping for Trigonometry exams or what!

When these so-called creative designers dress up Indian beauties for a global audience, we absolutely don’t understand what they are trying to do. When Sabyasachi decked up his muse Vidya Balan in a cream lehenga choli for the Cannes Film Festival, we didn’t know if Balan was going to be doing ‘mujra’ on the stage in that hideous outfit or going to sit on the panel. When these designers get ‘inspired’ by certain elements, we are left scratching our heads as we obviously don’t know what or why a certain thing was used by the designer, while we find the entire thing laugh-worthy.

I have never been able to understand the ramp fashion. Those stick-thin models in bizarre prints and atrocious make-up have no idea what’s it to where that to work or college. When big shot designers think of these stitches and ideas in their cosy rooms, they probably have only one brief in hand: Go berserk, confuse the consumer and make them all look really stupid. Really, designers, we don’t understand your lot at all!