Rahul and his sci-fi addiction

Rahul Gandhi is a troubled child. He wants to discover India treading on the same path his grandfather Pundit Nehru did, but unfortunately he fails all the time.

The idea of India and its people that he has keeps changing all the time, which shows that he really tries. But unfailingly “utter nonsense” comes out of his mouth.

When he god tired of doing ‘Bharat darshan’, and eating food from the poor dalit households, he sat down to analyse all. His analysis, nonetheless, has stumped as all time and again.

Just a few months ago, he had delivered a speech, which was more on rambling and less on specifics. In that speech addressed to businessmen and women, he called India a beehive.

Within few weeks, while imparting social media lessons to his youth brigade in Congress (although he himself doesn’t have any social media presence), he called the country a ‘computer’. Wait, he did not stop there. He went on calling his Congress party the default program of this computer. Well, no need to explain here what was the popular response to the ‘viral’ programme.

When his UPA government devised and launched Food Security Bill to save the sinking ship, he went on telling people that poverty was nothing but a ‘state of mind’. His philosophical moorings have really left a good impression on his critics who say that he doesn’t even have a graduation degree, because his statements really show that he has developed a high order thinking. However, the general public is left in a confused state of mind all the time he speaks.

This time, he has really touched the people in cosmic sense.

While inaugurating National Awareness Camp for Scheduled Castes Empowerment at Vigyan Bhavan today, he claimed that the Dalits of the country needed to come up with Jupiter’s escape velocity to beat the caste system.

Whether it was an effect of the place he was at (Vigyan Bhavan) or something else is a difficult thing to say. For starters, he maybe watching a lot of sci-fi movies lately given the amount of criticism Narendra Modi throws at him. Another reason maybe his addiction to Chacha Choudhary comics. The character Sabu is all powerful, capable of making someone escape to his native place Jupiter with a good velocity by his fist or kick for that matter. He may well also be addicted to the famous sci-fi tele-series, The Big Bang Theory.

He explained the whole mixing Science with Sociology thing like Sheldon Cooper, the lead character of the tele-serial, would have done despite failed attempts of his friends to stop him. The difference is, Cooper would have marveled at this.

The first stage, Rahul said, was that of Dr BR Ambedkar, who according to him, had Jupiter’s escape velocity.

“There is a concept of escape velocity in aeronautics. What is the escape velocity of Jupiter? It is 60 km/second acceleration. In India, we have the caste system, here also you will find escape velocity. For SCs, there is a need for Jupiter’s escape velocity. SCs look at Ambedkarji with pride. The reason is he gained escape velocity. And he worked on the Constitution and worked on reservation,” he said.

Without explaining the concept itself and leaving people confused, he came to the second stage.

“The second stage was of Kanshi Ram. He used the energy of reservation and tried to get escape velocity for the people,” he said.

While people were thinking about their escape velocity, he hopped onto the third stage. “In the third stage, Mayawati played a role. But it’s an issue of leadership. There is a need for lakhs of leaders,” Rahul said.

Rahul’s own party cries for a leadership from him, but he mocks other’s leadership qualities. Looking at the fact that he had to seek cosmic help and go to Jupiter for discrediting someone’s leadership, guess it is an ample proof that the other is doing a great job.

When will Rahul Gandhi stop throwing clues at people and start coming up with solid stuff is still to be ascertained. But people are still trying to understand what is escape velocity and how they can achieve it so that they can escape to Jupiter if that is where they can find peace.

Maybe Rahul should be nominated for Nobel prize in Physics and Social Sciences….