Pros and cons of marriage – Looking to get married?
Think twice before you jump right into if you are looking for happily-ever-after life with your partner. Well! I am just making a point. There are things one need to understand about the institution of marriage prior to the vows.
Marriage is the process by which two people make their relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the joining of two people in a bond that lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce. Over the course of a relationship that can last as many as seven or eight decades, a lot happens. Personalities change, bodies age, and romantic love waxes and wanes. And no marriage is free of conflict. What enables a couple to endure is how they handle that conflict.
So how do you manage the problems that inevitably arise? And how can you keep the spark alive? Lets talk about Pros and cons of marriage –
Pros and cons of marriage –
The Cons
You are subject to others’ expectations and rules
Marriage binds your life’s past, present, and future together. You are responsible for someone else’s behaviour. Everything you save for and plan for is linked to what someone else is saving for and planning for. And then there are the rules of the mosque, temple and church which have rules about what needs to be done. Never mind if your families are part of different denominations. It’s intrusive. Not being married is nice because we chose all the parameters of the relationship, and nobody (or nothing) else could come between us.
It is a highly expensive affair
Weddings are out of control and can cost way too much. It’s already a big deal to decide to get married, but then you have to decide about how you’re going to impress and honour all your friends and family, too. It brings on added stress in a time you just want to relax with each other. Thinking about the money needed, regardless of budget and size, is vexing for anyone.
The divorce rates are alarmingly high
It’s hard to admit the influence that past family and friends’ failed relationships has had on us, but we were there and we were definitely affected. Growing up, it seemed like some of the kids we knew had divorced parents. We saw what these breakups did to many of the most beloved people in our lives. It’s tough to forget that and just go into marriage looking at the bright side.
Commitment phobia
Yes, it can be a very scary thing, and we would want to run for life. Just having to live with the same person for a lifetime can be pretty daunting. Imagine having to eat the same flavour of ice cream for the rest of your life!
Marriage could change a lot of things
This is a common complaint for those who refuse to get married. It seems like a weak argument, but it’s real. Successful relationships take a lot of time and negotiation. It’s a tall order. Once you organize everything that works for both of you, it’s scary to pull another out.
People could be very nosy
All they want to know is when you’re going for honeymoon. If so, where? And then why did you choose that place? Yeah, it could go on. And the next thing they would love to know is when you are having kids. You would want to hide your face or knock them down. But, you can’t do one single thing about it. It’s as if they have earned a right to know…especially relatives. Sigh!
Pros and cons of marriage –
The Pros
There’s always a feeling of “someone is there”
This might be a dark way to think, but if something happens, it’s complicated for unmarried partners to make important legal decisions. What would we do in an emergency situation? We knew we were each other’s first contact and wanted to make sure we were officially recognized as related.
The possibility of others viewing your relationship as legitimate
Until there’s a legal and/or religious declaration of your relationship, family just doesn’t take the other person as serious. The fact that we are married helps them to understand that we are for real. The fact is that, no matter how we felt, they valued the bonds of marriage either for religious reasons or because of deep traditions.
The advantages of a love marriage
All we have is ourselves to answer and that’s such a great feeling. Really! So, why not?
The wedding plans can actually be fun
We Indians are always looking for an opportunity to celebrate with our family and friends. So, this can be one, and all that shopping for the right things. It’s complicated but fun.
A chance to celebrate your togetherness
A relationship is, as everyone says, hark work, We go through so much together, and we are actually proud of where we have landed and who we had become. It was time to honour that accomplishment.
So, why not go for it?
Peer pressure is always there. Friends and family all have a stake in your happiness, and they are going to tell you when it’s time for your major life decisions. But yes, it’s definitely worth a try. You have been warned, though.
Thes are the Pros and cons of marriage –
