Love Diaries: The Regret

It was gloomy afternoon. The sound of monsoon drizzle added a good flavour of romance in the air. I wish I should call him and tell him all that I have in my mind. I picked up his jacket that he had left behind the last time we met.

I could feel his presence around. I could hear him calling my name. I could see those dreamy eyes. I ended it all. He always said I was the special person in his life. He never asked me to draw a line. He loved me being around him. This took me back to my past. 

But, he never said he loves me. I kept asking him subtly that will he ever love someone like me. He never said ‘No’. He needed time is what I thought then. I kept involving myself a lot in his life. I always tried making good impressions to win his heart.

Months passed by and I became even more restless. My love then was taken as interference. He told me to back off but he never said he doesn’t love. I kept weaving hopes. I knew this what it is meant to be love. I was waiting for the right time.

I never told him that I was madly in love with him. I didn’t have the guts to face rejection. Things were vague and I didn’t want to have a conversation. I wanted things to unfold with ease. I wanted him to give some meaning to my feelings.

He understood all that I had in mind but never responded. It was a stormy night when we decided to sit next to each other and enjoy a drink. It was a lovely moment. He was sitting beside me. What followed later shook me up.

He longed for intimacy and I was appalled by his actions. I slapped and asked him to go away from my life. He left me behind with tears. I wasn’t expecting this from him. He never loved me but he always wanted all the pleasures of being in love. I was disgusted.

I waited for months expecting an apology call. He never called me. I wish I could shout out loud that I still love him. If I would have said those words at the right time then that sudden moment of awkwardness would have turned to be a beautiful experience.

Such is life. We all desire for the golden moment but only few of us know to welcome it gracefully. Many of us get stuck in reverse, keep thinking the consequences and regret to have missed that perfect moment of life…

Love Diaries is a new weekly column on Youngisthan that features short fictional stories.