Humour

10 Hilarious Things Would Happen If Batman Was Your Boyfriend

Let’s face the fact, we all envision our boyfriends as superheroes, at least we want them to become one. We all are love-struck about our superheroes and secretly wish that the boyfriends transmute into one overnight, of course not at the cost of wearing his bottoms in reverse. But then, you understand what I mean, you galactically want him to become a Batman, or date Batman for that matter even if has to undo his costume every time he peed or lived by a sense of self-righteousness mouthing heavyweight dialogues, you just want a superhero in your life, in a true sense.

And here are the 10 hilarious things that would happen if Batman was your boyfriend:

Kissing him would be a task:

Your lips would always meet his mask first before his cheek whenever you attempted to kiss him. That’s not romantic ew!

Your drying laundry would be a sight:

Instead of drying formals pants, shirts, briefs or drawers, his mask and cloak will be put out to dry thereby making it quite a sight for the onlookers.

He would serenade you like this:

He would take you to the rooftop and sit you on a wall to serenade you, that’s his idea of a romantic date night.

You would be his Catwoman:

You will absorb the role of catwoman completely being the lady love of Batman and he will come back to a house like this after his knightly expeditions.

Your future child will look like this:

Well. Chivalry flows in the genes!

Your house will be called:

Namastey! Welcome to Arkham Asylum.

You will not be allergic to two-faced people:

Because Harvey Dent’s enmity will be a way of life for you and other two faced lots will appear small as grasshoppers to you.

He will abandon you for duty:

He will leave a date halfway, grab Robin and set out to save the mankind if he smelled a rat!

You won’t have to visit Circus to see Joker:

Because Joker will be your mainstay and won’t harm your boyfriend because he thinks your boyfriend is ‘Too much fun’.

He will be overly sentimental:

There will be emotional rap sessions, more often than not!

He will speak in Third person:

That’s just,  awwwwwwww….

He will bring your stalker to task like this:

No guy will dare approach you in the pub because, well who wants to return home with five fingers tattooed on his cheek?

He will bring a cake like this on your birthday:

He will run out of ideas as how to impress you because he serves a larger  cause, so he will engrave his own picture in your cake instead.

His costume will stink when you wash it because:

Well, gross!

People will make fun at his expense:

That’s fairly rude!

So, these things will happen when you start dating Batman. Humph!

 

 

 

Shreyashi Das

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Shreyashi Das

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