Open Letter To Arnab Goswami : The Terminator Who Must Be Terminated!

Dear Arnab Goswami,

We are writing this letter to you in utter appreciation, as we have been an ardent admirer of all your ANTICS (read SHOUTING) that you display without any hesitation while sitting in front of “who-is-who” of the planet!

We thought we might as well learn a thing or two about “HOW THE HELL DO YOU ACTUALLY DO IT?”

So Dear Go-swami ji, here are a few things that we desperately need to know to make our lives easier and unreservedly fruitful!

1. Since, you have a proven track record of WINNING the debates, you must probably be the only guy in this world who can FIGHT with his wife and WIN too! Please tell us, how do you do it?

 

2. Are you Inversely Proportional to our beloved Dr. Manmohan Singh? If yes, how come Modi ji is the current Prime Minister?

 

3. We saw a picture of yours with your mouth shut! And we are sure that it is not a camera trick or a supersonic camera to with superlative shutter speed! This has to be your magic. How did you do it?

 

4. Your Grammar is worth a mention. I mean, we are die-hard fans actually! You can complete the whole debate of 5000 hours without using a comma or a full-stop! How do you do it?

 

5. One thing visible from moon that belongs to the planet Earth is the “Great Wall of China”. One thing which is AUDIBLE from moon that belongs to planet Earth is Arnab Goswami shouting “The Nation Wants to Know!!” How do you do this?

 

6. When you say in a commanding tone “I will speak now”, everyone goes blank in confusion, wondering who was speaking till now! How do you do this?

 

7. You have single-handedly managed to compete and beat Google! Google takes 2-3 words before interrupting someone to complete their sentence. You do that in just half of the word! How did you do that?

 

8. UNO has decided to declare a NEW WORLD HOLIDAY! The day you keep quiet for continuous one hour, it will be declared as WORLD SILENCE DAY! BRAVO! What an HONOUR! How did you manage that?

 

Well well, dear Arnab Go-to-hell-swami ji, these are just a few questions that could help us to catch the little secret and help us find all the answers that the NATION WANTS TO KNOW!

A reply is eagerly awaited!

Kindly Oblige!

Yours irritatingly,
THE NATION WITH NO ANSWERS AT ALL