Mission Mars Successful! Now Let’s Send These Earthling Aliens to Mars With One-Way Ticket!

There is a prevalent chaos in our universe.

But beneath that chaos lies a method to madness, a logic for everything happening. 

We earthlings have been suffering at the hands of some amazingly idiotic souls for a long time now and just when the entire humanity was wondering how to get rid of them; our space scientists provided an answer to all our long-lasting troubles.

Well, not all, but some of the important headaches can be taken care of and that too at a fraction of a cost.

It can be called the ultimate chaos theory that scientists were working on a different objective and have been able to come up with a solution for an entirely different problem! 

We are talking about India’s Mars mission!

Now that we have been able to go to Mars at such a cheap price, we can very well kick-out some nincompoops with one-way-ticket to that planet who actually doesn’t deserve even that kind of money to be spent on them, but what the hell! We’ll be glad to bear that cost as long as we can get rid of them. As they say, to gain something, you have to lose something. 

Let’s check out the people who look and behave like ALIENS and are justifed to be sent to the red planet as they no longer deserve earth!

1) Kamaal R Khan

He can’t act or talk or even look normal even in the most normal of the circumstances. Opens his mouth always at the wrong time and considers him to be the hottest dude around. He is always eager to fight and thinks of himself as the next superstar. Such misconceptions can only come when one doesn’t have a clue about how a society functions on our beautiful planet. He is surely an ALIEN! Send him to MARS!

 

2) Armaan Kohli

He must not have got loved ever resulting in his short-tempered nature. Always eager to get attention, this wannabe also thinks that since his father from planet earth has been a big producer, it becomes his right to be the superstar. He might have observed lot of successful cases so assumed that it’s a fixed norm. He didn’t study the business model and that’s why doesn’t understand that not all producers’ or stars’ children are hit. This basic lack of understanding may be making him angry with us simple earthlings. This alien must be sent back to MARS. To live among his fellow aliens happily!

 

3) Poonam Pandey

She is famous for saying one, doing other and never honoring her word. Also, she felt that on earth, revealing skin gives fame, popularity and respect. That’s where she got on the wrong foot. Nudity is always supported with brains to make a mark and gain respect. Her ill-gotten knowledge from the planet she is from (maybe MARS, or rightly VENUS) might have resulted in this confusion. May be her internet out there showed only porn?? She needs to be sent back to MARS immediately! With no return ticket!

 

4) Rakhi Saawant

She can’t talk in good Hindi, English or any language for that matter. On top of it, she compares herself to all the big superstars and considers herself also one amongst them. Besides, she feels chemicals inside one’s body are cool enough to rule the world. Hence her foray in politics after being ousted from bollywod! Well, sorry you are mistaken ma’am, chemicals in BRAIN make you rule the world, not in your boobs or lips or ass! She surely looks like an alien! Send her back NOW!

 

5) Arnab Goswami

He needs so many answers! Unlike our fellow beings on earth who never ask for any answers at all! They are happy with all kind of controversies. They enjoy every bit of stupid ground-bound nasty gossip and media trivia! But this strange creature keeps asking for more and more answers! He DEFINITELY is an ALIEN! Send him to MARS and let him be there to find all the answers! Bonus: With him being there on MARS, we wouldn’t have to worry about the satellite link for free flowing communication between Earth and Mars. He can simply shout from there to send all the updates!

 

6) Arvind Kejriwal

He certainly looks like an Alien. More so because he keeps hiding his ears behind those strange “mufflores” (are there any hidden antennas under those?). And his strategic theories are seemingly Alienatic now! He doesn’t seem to understand that such antics wouldn’t work here! Satyagrah is a thing of past! Oh..maybe he descended on earth on a wrong date! Let us just send him to MARS and make him wait for his right time!

Do you think of anyone else who must be sent to MARS asap? Please let us know!

God Save Planet Earth!