Let’s Make An ASS Out Of Ourselves’¦ And Be Proud Of It!

With the recent 102nd Indian Science Congress done with, the Media is full of ridicule towards the speech made by Captain Anand Bodas.

As we all know that he was ridiculed, by the “sickular” pseudo-intellectuals (bah, die you!!!) for saying that Indians had discovered airplanes around 7000 to 8000 years back, which could travel from planet to planet, both in forward and reverse and also halt midway.

Mind Blowing!!!!

However, the BJP PM Modi Government has taken these claims quite seriously, if my “always drunk” sources are to be believed.

This definitely needs further investigation and research.

But, since ISRO is quite busy launching real space-ships to Mars (no they don’t halt midair, ISRO is not that backwardly advanced yet) and what not, there is a plan to form a separate branch called ASRO (Ancient Science Research Organization).

This new Body will have the sole task of proving all the claims which have been made by Captain Bodas with firm documentation to enable further scientific research.

The team of Experts, though looking into the ancient past, will be armed with modern futuristic technology like Photoshop and Social Media.

The induction of the members of this team will be done after they have watched the effective documentation of Ramanand Sagar and B R Chopra a minimum of 100 times without sleeping.

A separate team of ASRO experts is also busy in proving how it was Swami Arjun Mendis and not Archimedes, who jumped out of a bath tub (yes we invented those too) and ran naked on the banks of Ganga shouting “O Rekha! O Rekha” when he discovered the ArjunMendis Principle, some 11,000 years ago. Photoshop images to this effect are already being made, even as I type this 😛

The song “Rekha O Rekha, Jabse Tumhe Dekha” is more than enough proof of the occurrence of this event 😀

The ASRO is going to be headed by our Hon. Shri Shri Shri Subramanian Swamy who will be using his Parody Facebook account to publish his conclusions.

Our Hon. HRD Minister Smriti Irani, in a quest to promote the younger minds to enter this field of …ahem … science, has been busy writing up a diktat to all the schools and colleges to start the ASRO scholarship.

The Scholarship will be aimed at the study of all the Ancient Indian Sciences and Vedic India from a very young age. Of course, not to mention, this study will be in Sanskrit ONLY!!

Yeah, I know that will be difficult, but once a kid does pass this scholarship exam, he can actually use the prefix of ASS (Ancient Science Scholar) before his name like they use a Dr. after a Doctorate 😛

It won’t be long before we have young guys going about saying proudly “Hey, I am an ASS”

The ASS courses will now be also taught in schools as mandatory alternative reading (YES IN SANSKRIT, don’t keep asking me that) and will also be made compulsory for all the Ministers and Govt. representatives… atl east for those who are not yet an ASS.

There are also plans to introduce Online courses for ASS. The courses will be called Ancient Science Study and Historical Online Learning Exercise … or in short ASSHOLE. This will be a more in-depth study delving deeeeeeeep into the regions yet explored and will mostly target the NRI learners.

There are also plans to declare 15th September as the ASSHOLE Day with the mandatory optional attendance in all schools and colleges.

Our PM Modi was heard addressing a gathering of the BJP leaders in which he said “By 2020 we vow to make an ASS out of the entire Nation” *clap* *clap* *clap* !!!!

Looking forward to the Indians soon making a complete ASS of themselves. 😉

Disclaimer: All the rumours about Pythagoras being Partha Gore from Kalyan are completely untrue and there is no Ghar Waapsi planned for the Greek mathematician.