A dark satire on how people from different domains comment stupidly on increasing rape cases in India without even thinking about the actual meaning of their comments and the repercussions hence forth!
So girls, our dear and considerate senior men and learned life-gurus keep giving you tips on how you can protect yourself from getting raped!
But you don’t seem to be listening! Are you! I mean how much does it take to listen to and comply with small little things that these revered elderly people keep raving about? They truly are so concerned about your safety and security that they come out of their comfort zone and voice out amazingly brilliant ideas without even bothering about the fact that they might be brutally putting their own intelligence on question!
Now, how thoughtful is that. They must be given their ACTUAL DUE! Don’t you think so?
Here, we remind you of all the crucial steps again! Please take a note and TRY TO COMPLY!
1) Short Clothes in college and at work-place?? Oh dear! Why don’t you listen to the most intelligent Shri Shri Chiranjeet Chakraborty, Trinamool Congress Legislator, who clearly said that you are getting raped because you wear short skirts! But did you listen?? Did you?? It’s all your fault!! DO NOT BLAME THE SUAVE AND SENSIBLE MEN FOR RAPING YOU WHO CANNOT RESIST THE URGES!
2) Oh God! Why the hell do you have to TALK TO GUYS? Why? Can’t you just be mute, finish your work and come back home quietly? Didn’t our dear Didi Sushree Mamata Banerjee, CM, West Bengal tell you that you will get raped if you talk to boys?? You need to pay heed to such RATIONAL TIPS from these experts. You must STOP TALKING ALTOGETHER! FORGET GUYS OR GIRLS OR ANYBODY FOR THAT MATTER!! That is the best way to prevent rape!
3) Now look at this! You are PARTYING? You are SMILING? That too with the guys around who are not your RELATIVES? Are you really out of your mind? Our sagacious Abu Azmi ji, who is an able Samajwadi Party leader, very clearly said that if you roam around late in night with people who are not your relatives, YOU WILL GET RAPED! But you didn’t listen to this one too. You need to mend your ways girls. It’s YOU who NEED TO MEND YOUR WAYS! GUYS ARE SAINTS ALREADY!
4) Chinese Noodles??? Oh No! Oh No No!! Stop that! Just stop eating that and throw away the bowl! That devil Chinese food can get you raped my darling! Please understand! Jitender Chhatar, our very own loving and considerate Thua Khap Panchayat Leader, who really wants to protect you from the clasps of dirty men, gave you a clear tip! CHOWMEIN GETS PEOPLE RAPED! But you won’t listen! You have to eat that filthy food! Just stop it RIGHT NOW!
5) See, this smiling man’s sole objective of life is to SAVE GIRLS FROM GETTING RAPED! And he said that! Mobile Phones are the CULPRIT! Did you throw away your cell-phone as yet?? No?? Now get ready to get raped!
6) Huh! You won’t listen to Binay Bihari right?? You will keep hooked to that monster of a mobile phone! Aren’t you scared of getting raped! I mean what are you getting out of that mobile? It’s no good! You are a GIRL. You don’t need a mobile at all! Rajpal Saini ji, our prim and proper brotherly BSP leader said that. Throw it away girl! Just throw away your mobile RIGHT NOW!
7) Aaah, the serene soul Shri Shri Shri Shri Asa Ram Godly Bapu. He told you the best way to STOP A RAPE WHEN IT IS HAPPENING TO YOU. What a REMARKABLE MAN HE IS! He gave you a MAGIC WAND! Just tie a RAKHI on the Rapists wrist right-away! Do you carry a rakhi in your bag all the time or not? You must girl, YOU MUST! That…is your only savior form a creep’s clutches! OK!
8) Now this is such a pleasant sight. This man who actually looks like a RAPIST has so many RAKHIS TIED to his wrist! Some smart girls’ moves, I must say! Thanks for listening to Asa Ram Bapu Ji!
9) Oh! So you want to WORK AND EARN A LIVING and BE INDEPENDENT! No my dear lady, No! That will certainly get you raped! You must not think of having an independent life at all! You are not supposed to be self sufficient! Stay at home! Better still, get married at 16 or even before that! You will be safe! Om Prakash Chautala ji, our Beloved Former Chief Minister of Haryana suggested. He is our elderly. You must listen to him! Please obey!
10) You ask for it?? Don’t you? You are always a party to the rape. You want it! You are the second clapping hand! How else is a bastard able to rape you without your consent? Of course you invite them to rape you and then you participate in the rape whole-heartedly! It’s YOUR FAULT!
11) Ohhh how can we forget this one. The MOST SENSIBLE TIP from the MOST INTELLIGENT MAN ON THE PLANET Mr. Ranjit Sinha, Head of Central Bureau of Investigation! If you cannot AVOID rape, ENJOY it! As simple as that! Now how difficult is it to ENJOY something as good as RAPE?? Come on! You can do that! Can’t You?
12) And FINALLY, after all the mad ranting and the Repeated Caution Messages from all the PROTECTORS OF YOUR LIFE, (which of course you keep ignoring), you did get RAPED, then YOU JUST GOT RAPED! STOP PROTESTING AGAINST IT! You don’t have a RIGHT TO PROTEST! Get it in your Head. Alright? Just STOP PROTESTING! YOU MUST learn your DEMOCRATIC RIGHTS DILIGENTLY! You can very well get raped, but YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO PROTEST!
Well, if any of you got the right message out of this satire story, which I am really hoping that you should have, please put your actions to what actually needs to be done to ERADICATE THIS EPIDEMIC from our SOCIETY! Start the ACTION CHAIN NOW!
