Many a times you set your eyes on a complete stranger at a party, on the road or in a shopping mall, and you know instantly, that you would want to date them!
It happens, right?
But how to approach?
They might feel offended! They might turn you down in dirtiest possible way! Or worse still, they might just call the cops, if “they” happens to be a girl!
Worry not mates! We have a solution for you!
Here are 7 easy and natural ways you can use (use small modifications depending on the place and environment) to approach a stranger and ask them out for a date. These steps apply at work, at a party, in a restaurant, on a plane, at a trade show, or wherever the urge strikes you.
Make good use of them and get the one you are attracted to, to say yes!
- Act on The First Instinct With Natural Attitude
Never over think or analyse when you see someone you wish to talk to. Take a deep breath, wear your most natural attitude; curious, enthusiastic, calm, whatever you are feeling in that moment, let it be like that. Make sure your body language is not closed. For instance, crossed arms in front of the chest or slouching shoulders are a strict no no. Hands in pocket is also a sign of timid attitude. Walk with a flair, and a smile and introduce yourself with confidence.
- Divert Their Attention Away From You
Use a prop, like a book, to direct attention away from yourself. Pick up the book and wait about ten seconds. Then say something linked to the book. If you’re in the shopping mall you might casually ask a question like, “Do you know anything about ready to eat meals?” Or if in another section, you might solicit some advice, “What do you buy if you have guests coming in who have babies?” You could also begin with a casual statement tailored to the situation (perhaps something about the store or the weather) followed by an open question (one that begins with who, what, why, where, when or how). Anything that directs attention away from the two of you.
- Build An Instant Trust Level
Once you’ve opened a line of communication, you need to quickly gain credibility. The best way to build trust is by linking yourself to the neighbourhood, or by talking about your work, school, or community involvement, something local and reliable. You might say, “My office is next door, I come in here almost every day, if my boss is not on leave.” Make it an anecdote for a good laugh, and share the smile with them.
- Look For Common Interests And Grounds To Take The Talk Ahead
Most certainly, there are a few things common in two people who are standing at a common place. Be on the look out for opportunities to say, “Me too” (or “what a coincidence,” “funny you should say that,” etc.). No matter what, be honest and sincere. Do not make it look “made up”. Keep the conversation light and flowing.
- Evaluate the Chemistry
A ten second chat is long enough to tell if the person is interested; or you would be further interested to date them. 30 seconds to tell if there’s a potential; 90 seconds to tell if there’s chemistry. If it’s not going well, politely exit the conversation and leave with a smile. If you feel there is a chemistry, then the course of action will change to the next level.
- Synchronize the Movements
If you feel a connection, escalate the intensity by subtly mirroring the person’s overall body position and voice (tone, speed and volume). For example, if the person speaks slowly and quietly, do the same. Be a listener, more than a talker. Keep looking into their eyes (don’t stare), with a glint of friendliness in there.
- Time to Introduce The Next Level
If you are still chatting after two minutes and you’re interested in the person, ask for a phone number or email address. This can be hard, so if you don’t feel like coming right out and asking, then pick up on something you’ve been talking about and offer to send a link or some information if he or she will give you an email address. When you ask for this info, be calm and look the person in the eye. If they say yes, suggest a coffee or something casual, then say goodbye and leave the place.
These subtle ways will definitely help you to build your way across and get them to say yes to meeting you further.
Now the catch is, If it’s an unmistakable “no,” then say politely, “It was nice chatting with you,” and go about your business.
Don’t be discouraged if things didn’t happen the way you wanted them to. In meeting people, there’s no such thing as rejection, there’s only selection.
So, be fearless, calm and detach yourself from the outcome.
