Understanding a man is akin to pulling your own eyeballs out. Fret not, ladies! Let’s help you figure out what pisses your man off.
Understanding a man is akin to pulling your own eyeballs out. But we are always there to help you figure the nitty-gritty involved in knowing your man inside out. In yesterday’s edition, we told you what pisses HER off. Today, we have something for the ladies. If your man is pulling way too many ‘I-am-with-the-guys’ act on you, it’s time to follow this guide. Read on:
Talking nineteen-to-the-dozen on call:
He’s a man, he likes to keep it short (ha!). So, it’s better to be as quick with details as you possibly can. He doesn’t like to listen to you blabbering on and on about something that caught your fancy on the train. You can reserve all that for an evening session when you meet him in person. Nothing pisses a man off more than your chatter on irrelevant topics when he is in the middle of something. And if he goes ‘hmmm’ on you, you’d go ninja on him. Why bother? Give him a break, girls. Let him get his act together and you can regale him with your interesting tales later. And always remember, most men hate talking over the phone, in general and talking over the phone first thing in the morning, in particular. Morning is the time when his ‘hmmms’ are at their peak. Watch out!
Stop and stare:
Many girls (including yours truly) indulge in one of life’s greatest pleasures…of stopping and staring into the mirror…bam in the middle of the road! Whether you’re fixing a stray hair, touching-up your make-up or checking how your new Jimmy Choos look on, you’re royally screwing with your man’s patience. He needs flat 10 minutes to get ready for a hot date, while you need an hour and half and regular mirror-spotting to be remotely date-worthy. When you do this staring business in public, your man is seething. Have you seen how he gives you the ‘are you coming or not’ look? Yeah, that’s the calm before the storm.
Shopping:
Men will never admit to this, but they hate it when you try out clothes after clothes and discard them all in a huge pile. They may seem all supportive and caring, even offering to hold your bags for you…but inside, they are hungry for your blood. May be there’s a really exciting match they want to watch, may be they understand shit about your sartorial choices or they are hungry as hell and can’t wait for you to wrap up your damn shopping so that they can stuff their faces. Whatever the, they hate shopping for hours and absolutely despise window shopping. Men go out with a purpose of picking up more black tees and nothing else. Do you hear that, ladies?
TV war:
If it’s the EPL time and you want to watch reality show, say bye-bye to your decade-old relationship. He may be the sweetest, most adorable guy on earth, but nothing can bring out the devil in him like a lost opportunity to cheer for his favourite team. Don’t even try to argue with him on this (however good you may be at winning debates with him), because he is going to be very adamant and matter-of-fact about these issues. Invest in two television sets, if you have to. Else watch sports with him. Don’t forget to pitch in with a couple of ‘hurrahs!’ and ‘you go boy’ in between. It will make your whole drama feel a lot more real. Tee hee.
Trick questions:
If you have bought a sexy pair of LBDs, flaunt it to your girlfriends. Your better half has no damn clue what LBD stands for, so no point asking him to appreciate your new buy. He won’t be able to tell the difference between your dresses, so it’s really not worth the effort. He will be super bored and pissed when asked questions like ‘Am I looking fat?’, ‘Is my hair okay?’, ‘How do you like my new shoes?’, and so on. If they have you, they don’t care what you buy or wear as long as you smell good and make great love.
