Sex is wonderful!
Well, maybe not! All the times!
But what’s the need to screw it all up? Even if it wasn’t the best “Basic Instinct” kinda experience and you do not feel like Sheron Stones and Michael Douglas!
There are some things that are best left unsaid… especially post sex. No matter how good (or bad) the deed was!
What not to say after sex? I suggest you stay away from uttering these 15 one liners to your partner, unless you want them to freak out and run away forever.
1. Are we done?
Especially if you are a girl. This is going to throw buckets of cold water on your man’s manliness!
2. Was this your ‘first’ time?
Even if it was, they deserve a little appreciation from you, to buck for the next session!
3. Hurry up! I need to go out!
Well ok, why the hell did you pull your pants down then? Go already!
4. Oh wow, that was quick!
Yeah right! Your man is never going to call you after that! Unless this is what you really want!
5. I think you need to watch some porn and *ahem* practice.
Why do they need you then! Go get a life!
6. I am going to clean that fan now, I couldn’t take my eyes off it! It’s so dirty!
Lucky fan huh! Your partner was unnecessarily trying to satisfy you!
7. My ex taught me that move you see! Isn’t it sexy!
Why don’t you take some more practical tutorials form your ex! You really need them!
8. I need to pee, it’s too much of it now!
Was he pumping pee in you? Come on, enjoy the moment
9. I think I have a vaginal infection.
Ohh gross! He was just digging into a bug or what?
10. Can you take the trash out now?
Is that how you Pre-Pay everyone?
11. Get up, I need to change the bed sheet right NOW.
Next time on, do it without the bed sheet and spend some time in each other’s arms after the deed is done!
12. Don’t worry I’ll go to the bathroom and finish it myself.
Yeah ok, she wasn’t really that hot for you, but to spell it on her face dude?
13. Do you think we should look for moves on the Internet?
No, you just have to tell your partner loud and clear that they suck at sex! If this one liner doesn’t work, that is!
14. By the way you should know this is not my house.
Shouldn’t you have said that before removing those pants? What’s the fun announcing it after you have soiled the sheets!
15. Have you gained weight?
Hmm well Ok, it could have been that you are going to skinny to not been able to bear the weight of sex. Do something about it, stop blaming others!
Dudes, and Dudettes, do whatever, but never say these to your partners after you have experiences a session with them.
Note these all somewhere!
